how can u be prego again
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Please don't give away my fajitas
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
