She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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