he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
