Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm sobbing to NWA
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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