Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
