garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
youre lurking in front of me
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
