I heard we made out
why didn't you poke me back
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize