But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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