question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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