turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
