i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
