he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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