right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
