Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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