Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
