READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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