South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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