My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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