Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
