i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
