I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
