Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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