why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
