Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
