Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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