What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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