**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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