tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
i've created a new STD.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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