when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I think your dad took our porno
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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