please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
