You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
