Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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