why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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