I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
There r osticjed everywhere
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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