the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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