also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
