I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You can't special order awesome
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
