I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
