i used baking grease as lip gloss
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
