He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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