i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My vagina is officially offended.
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