The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
