UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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