Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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