I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
