Rock
Scissors
Fuck
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
