He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
