I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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