If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
