just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
