I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
