Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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