Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
