I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
the liver wants what the liver wants
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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