It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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