It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Someone signed my nipple.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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