yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
