She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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