so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
