ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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