i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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