if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
