Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
