He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
